a vent, thats all this blog is for, to vent

Ive always told her to hang with her friends and do work, and only now shes deciding to actually focus on school work and hang with her friends who supposedly only “ study every night” (no offense to them, I think theyre really nice). I remember earlier on she would question if she liked me more than I liked her simply for the fact that I didn’t want to see her three or more times a week, back early on in the relationship when we would see each other once or twice a week. I would always tell her to not neglect her friends or work and that I did like her as much as she liked me. Does anyone see whats happening? I feel like only now she has decided to be with her friends and do work rather than back when I told her. It seems that I am somehow suffering from this.

Another thing is that I told her to call me if shes free but she asked why I couldn’t, and that I should take iniative and call her. And I said I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to interrupt her because homework seemed like a big deal to her. Thus meaning that I am taking the heat for being considerate all of a sudden.

and also, whenever there is a fight, it always seems to me that i'm the one thats going to be affected by it in the end. somehow its always my fault, and even if it isnt theres always some way to relate it to me to make me feel bad.

fourthly, i feel like shes distancing herself from me. something feels off, i just dont know what it is. but thats what i can gather from a quick conversation.... shes told me not to worry, but shes already put me through so much heartache girls are just confusing, i dont know how much longer i can take this type of frustration :-\